The Best Chicken

Yesterday, the unthinkable happened.

Kim asked me to cook dinner.

I know you're all thinking, "Whoa, dude! That's intense!" and I'm right there with you. And stop saying "dude."

Thing was, she wanted to hit the gym before dinner, but the chicken was already marinating, and the acids in the marinade can actually "cook" the chicken. I say "cook" instead of cook because I'm pretty sure you'd still get really sick if you just left something to marinate overnight and then just dug in. I think it chemically alters the meat without the helpful side effect of killing bacteria. But you can get back to me on that.

Anyway, we're out of charcoal, and our grill absolutely sucks. We bought the cheapest one at Walmart that didn't need to be put on a table to work. Maybe I'm just not talented when it comes to things like this, but it just seems that it doesn't get hot or stay hot, no matter what type of charcoal (lump, briquet, real wood) that I use. I do use a chimney starter, however, and still recommend it to everyone. Seriously, they work awesome. Get one with air holes in the side, though. If you go super-cheap, you may end up having to light it a couple times, or even use lighter fluid, which effectively ruins the whole point of the things.

Taken from my supposedly normal habitat of the grill, I'm left with a cast iron grill pan, an oven of dubious reliability, and my swingin' cod, as Jayne Cobb would put it.

I heated up the grill pan to a medium, but our stovetop ranges from Warm to Cook Eggs and Bacon to FIRES OF HELL. That's one hot grill pan. (I can, by the way, make a perfect plate of eggs and bacon). I also preheated the oven to 350, so it heated right up to about 400. We're about 3 days from the move, so all the baking pans are packed up, but I made one out of tin foil and put that in the oven to preheat, as well.

Throwing the chicken breasts on the pan, I covered them with our biggest frying pan. It's no longer nonstick, so it's basically just an uncomfortable hat at this point. I figured this could bring it new life. Three minutes on each side, and some tasty grill marks were etched into the meat. Then I threw them in the oven and brought out my secret weapon: a remote read digital thermometer. Thanks to you guys who gave it to us for Christmas!

Then I cooked them until the thermometer beeped at 165.

It was perfect. The sear gave it that flavor, and the meat was cooked through but still juicy and delicious. Even Kim said so, and she usually just laughs when I cook. How anyone can laugh at a breaded pork chop deep-fried in bacon fat is beyond me, but that's the wonderful mystery of marriage.